I found myself looking back through some old journals today and realized just how much my life has changed over the past couple of years. It's amazing how easy life can transform and rearrange itself, dreams change, plans adjust, and sometimes the changes are outside of our control. It amazes me that we can spend so much time planning and working toward an outcome that can change over night and usually with no time to prepare.
I look back at the good times and memories, the times of growth, the times that God felt so far away, the times that the heartache was too much to bear, the times that I felt like life was moving on without me, the times when I had more friendships and support than I could ask for, and then the times that I felt completely alone. In such a short amount of time, so many things can change. People, desires, passions, and activity come and go like clock work.
One thing, however, stayed constant through every season and change that came my way. And that was the faithfulness of my God. I can honestly say that even in the depth of pain that no one could explain, He was there. "Taste and see that the Lord is good." He has my best interests in mind and looking back, there is no way that I would be where I am today without His goodness and faithfulness. I am floored by what He has walked me through. I'm amazed that even when I didn't recognize what He was doing at the time, He was always there to provide and move me forward. He was there with peace and comfort, with the right people, and in the perfect timing.
The purpose of our God is so much greater than any pain that we could ever face in this life. He proved this on the cross, when no amount of pain could change the purpose that He was there. And you know, even when I wasn't faithful, even when I couldn't find the Words to pray, didn't find the time praise, focussed on the problem, and let my emotions get the best of me; He was there and His purpose and love for me never changed. His desire to see me walk through to the other side didn't change. He is the same yesterday, today, and forever and He will never leave me nor forsake me. There is nothing that can separate me from the love of my God.
There is a new song out that I believe speaks so true of my life and my God. The lyrics of the course say, "There's never been a moment I was not held inside your arms, there's never been a day when you were not who you say you are, you're forever, it don't matter what i'm walking through, cause no matter where i'm going there's never been a moment that I was not loved by you."
In going forward from here, I have really had to think about the areas of my life that I depend. Do I depend on my plans, future, job, goals, family, etc more than I depend on my God? Everything in life can change in a moment of time, except for God. And He has proven time and time again that His goodness outweighs the circumstance. I want to live a life of whole hearted dependency on my God. Everything else is just to glorify Him. But to live to purposely place all trust and dependency in Him and never be comfortable with life without Him. He will never change.
I encourage you to evaluate with me. Is there anything in life that you couldn't live without? Do we live with that kind of dependency on God? We can easily say it, but do we truly pursue Him like we couldn't live without Him. The truth being that there is no life outside of Him. Look back at the faithfulness of our God, and don't allow the pain to stop your pursuit of Him. He is a good good Father and nothing can separate us from His love. I don't know what you are going through but He loves you so so so very much and has only the best in mind for you and nothing less. But He won't move where He isn't welcome. Lets move back together to a life of wholehearted dependency on Him and just take some time to let Him love on us.